There are moments of parenting that bowl me over.
Advocating for our kids' needs is at times a much busier job than others. This year, both kids have moved up to new schools (middle school for Hannah, and upper elementary for Toby). Hannah has adapted well to the relative chaos of middle school - she has called home with requests to drop off forgotten items about three days out of five and my tolerance for that is running a bit thin - so we've instituted some new "get things ready at night" plans and so far so good. And I have warned her that she may have to deal with me saying "no" to dropping off forgotten items. In the grand scheme of things, not having a binder at school for a day is pretty small potatoes.
Toby has had more challenging things. Since kindergarten, he has been on a bus that includes an extra monitor - to help him get on and off the bus, and to put his equipment on the bus. This year, a child was added to the bus who is non-verbal and who screams a lot. After day 1, Toby was visibly upset at the bus ride - he was one of the first kids picked up in the am, and one of the last off the bus in the afternoon; he's noise-sensitive to begin with, and the 45 minutes with screaming was just too stressful for him. To boot, this year's monitor and bus driver seem rather hands-off about behavior control on the bus, so all the other kids were louder than necessary...enough said.
We called in the troops to see what we could do pretty quickly - and while it took until yesterday to implement a plan, fairly early the school was proactive at sorting out a solution. The solution is to put him on the "neighborhood" bus - a regular bus with no monitor - and we agree to being there to put him on the bus in the morning, get him off in the afternoon - and his aide at school will help on that end. We already did that as did the school aide - so really - no skin off our backs. While I have some concern about what happens if there's an emergency (where the extra adult on the bus could come in handy) - really, there are 30-plus kids on the bus and the monitor isn't "Toby's personal" monitor, Toby can crawl off if he needs, and in this case - we're opting for the better social experience for him.
He came home on the new bus yesterday, and I put him on this morning. Our interim solution while we sorted this out was to send him on the bus with an MP3 player - which he quite liked, and he wasn't sure he wanted to go without on this new bus ;) But, I'd rather have him socializing with other kids for the bus ride...so I convinced him to try without the MP3 player this morning. He got on with my help, and immediately started chatting with everyone and anyone - he was happy as a clam telling the bus driver and other kids all about anything.
For me, it means yet another step on the way to a more normalized experience for Toby. I don't resist the supports and help Toby needs. I do utterly cherish when solutions come to us that move him closer to the regular end of things instead of adding more "special" aide and adaptation.
What I'm finding is that moments like this come up with both kids - but with Hannah, it's more at regular "life change" moments - the start of school or a new school - etc. - moments when you realize the poignancy of how your kid is growing up. With Toby - all those moments happen too - in addition, there are the added unexpected "life change" times like this bus switch. I didn't know this moment was coming - but sending him off this morning? It's really rather overwhelming.
In a very good way.